oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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