We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
