anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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