what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
