I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
