I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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