matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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