i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
