No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
