I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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