why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
