so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
