I am full of burrito and curiosity
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
