An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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