Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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