I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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