my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
