pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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