man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
