Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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