One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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