he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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