So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
