I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
