I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
