yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
