so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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