I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
