One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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