Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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