got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
