considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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