Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
