theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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