I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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