Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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