Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
