dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
