ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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