I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you win again, gameday.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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