i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
