1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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