omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
