You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
