And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
