genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
