If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
