Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
