How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
