It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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