he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
