My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
