Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
