**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
