I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
