Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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