"it" just moved
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
