my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
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I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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