It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
