happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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