my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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