Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
